I'm Stuntman Mike. Pleased to meet you, sugar. Need a ride home?
((Independent not-very-serious ask blog based on Stuntman Mike from Death Proof, because why the hell not. Aims to be darkly comedic, at least if you've seen the movie.))
Post reblogged from GLORIOUS SHAGOHOD ON THE INTERNETS with 37 notes
Yeah! Power feels good! And it’s not fair if you’re left not feeling good about yourself, is it?
Wow! I mean… wow! An honour! That would mean a lot to me, Shagoya!
I’d buy you a drink if you drank things. What do you run on? I can probably get my hands on some if we do ever meet.
DA! PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT WHO I AM BUT YOU MAKE ME FEEL PROUD TO BE NUCLEAR DEATH TANK!
YAY! WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME TOO <3 I AM RUNNING ON GALLONS AND GALLONS OF MILITARY-GRADE DIESEL. I WILL GET YOU VODKA OR KVAS OR SOMETHING FROM POST.
Really no need Shagoya, the offer of a ride is more than enough 8) & the conversation, I can completely relax, talking to you. Thanks very much.
Post reblogged from GLORIOUS SHAGOHOD ON THE INTERNETS with 37 notes
I WILL TAKE TEXAS. SQUISH MANIACS FOR STUNTMAN. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN OKAY? ALSO I TAKE ALASKA BACK SINCE WE UNDERSOLD IT. LYING PRESIDENT LINCOLN. OR ROOSEVELT. KENNEDY? SOMEONE.
SOUNDS LIKE WHEN PAPA PICKED ON SNAKE. BUT SNAKE HAD HELP. LOTS OF HELP.
SHAGOYA ENGINE SOUNDS LIKE SIBERIAN TIGER MAULING LABOR-CAMP PRISONER! LISTEN! *revs*
Mmmmnnn! Listen to that!!!
You have a beeeautiful voice, Shagoya!
So much power. Everything about you screams power.
:D
YAAAY! THANK YOU! YOU ARE VERY KIND!
I SHOULD USE POWER, YES? THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING TO EVERYONE!
…STUNTMAN, IF I AM EVER COMING TO USA OR YOU TO USSR, I WILL LET YOU RIDE ON TOP OF ME. THIS IS BIG DEAL FOR SHAGOYA, OKAY? IF I OFFER TO LET YOU RIDE ON, MEANS I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH.
Yeah! Power feels good! And it’s not fair if you’re left not feeling good about yourself, is it?
Wow! I mean… wow! An honour! That would mean a lot to me, Shagoya!
I’d buy you a drink if you drank things. What do you run on? I can probably get my hands on some if we do ever meet.
Post reblogged from GLORIOUS SHAGOHOD ON THE INTERNETS with 37 notes
I don’t know, maybe you could have Texas or something. Or Tennessee. The bitches that caught up to me are in Tennessee. In jail as far as I know. Really, I think they think I died of my injuries or something. I’m not really interested in chasing those…. those maniacs. I’ve already been lucky to get away with things the way I did… it should have been me in there. Anyway, and/or you could have Alaska, that’s near Russia.
Doesn’t like you? ….. That’s…. that’s a shame…….
((OOC. I can’t bring myself to give Shagohod terrible advice at the moment, just for RAY’s sake really))Sometimes, you can be as careful as you can be, and then you realise you picked on the wrong person. And then they kick your ass.
I miss having a muscle car around, granted you won’t find one just lying around in a scrapheap, but darn, if I could get my hands on something that has an engine that purrs like a beast that would be swell. I’m sure I’ll find something to drive again…
I WILL TAKE TEXAS. SQUISH MANIACS FOR STUNTMAN. YOU DON’T HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN OKAY? ALSO I TAKE ALASKA BACK SINCE WE UNDERSOLD IT. LYING PRESIDENT LINCOLN. OR ROOSEVELT. KENNEDY? SOMEONE.
SOUNDS LIKE WHEN PAPA PICKED ON SNAKE. BUT SNAKE HAD HELP. LOTS OF HELP.
SHAGOYA ENGINE SOUNDS LIKE SIBERIAN TIGER MAULING LABOR-CAMP PRISONER! LISTEN! *revs*
Mmmmnnn! Listen to that!!!
You have a beeeautiful voice, Shagoya!
So much power. Everything about you screams power.
Post reblogged from GLORIOUS SHAGOHOD ON THE INTERNETS with 37 notes
I WANT TO NUKE US, SINCE THAT WAS PAPA’S ORDER. BUT I DON’T HAVE NUKE AND MOST OF TUMBLR FRIENDS LIVE THERE, SO NOT SURE ANYMORE. MAYBE A LAND INVASION? SOVIET UNION BEST NATION! WE’LL MAKE LIFE BETTER AND YOU’LL HAVE EVEN MORE FREEDOM THAN BEFORE! FREEDOM FROM BOURGEOIS AND WAR! :D
…SHAGOHOD ALONE THOUGH. OTHER TWO NUCLEAR TANKS ARE WUSSES NOW. THEY DON’T WANT TO NUKE OR SQUISH OR STOMP. IS SHAME. ONE IS SO CUTE WITH BLOOD ON ITS FEET <3 DOESN’T LIKE ME THOUGH D:
WHO IS ATTACKING OF STUNTMAN?! I SQUISH! I SQUISH GOOD! >:(
PEOPLE ARE TELLING SHAGOYA NOT TO SQUISH, BUT THAT IS WHAT I WAS MADE TO DO. IF STUNTMAN MADE TO DO DANGEROUS STUFF, UH, MAYBE BE MORE CAREFUL NOT TO GET IN TROUBLE?
DO YOU WANT CAR? I COULD GO LOOK FOR ONE IN SCRAPHEAP IN SIBERIA FOR YOU. I AM SURE WE HAVE NICE RUSSIAN CARS.
I don’t know, maybe you could have Texas or something. Or Tennessee. The bitches that caught up to me are in Tennessee. In jail as far as I know. Really, I think they think I died of my injuries or something. I’m not really interested in chasing those…. those maniacs. I’ve already been lucky to get away with things the way I did… it should have been me in there. Anyway, and/or you could have Alaska, that’s near Russia.
Doesn’t like you? ….. That’s…. that’s a shame……. ((OOC. I can’t bring myself to give Shagohod terrible advice at the moment, just for RAY’s sake really))
Sometimes, you can be as careful as you can be, and then you realise you picked on the wrong person. And then they kick your ass.
I miss having a muscle car around, granted you won’t find one just lying around in a scrapheap, but darn, if I could get my hands on something that has an engine that purrs like a beast that would be swell. I’m sure I’ll find something to drive again…
Photo reblogged from Malacima with 5 notes
Seeing Forever For Over One Hundred Years by Fort Photo on Flickr.
Photo reblogged from Chi trova un amico, trova un tesoro with 30 notes
Same car, but from an even better view? :3
Post reblogged from GLORIOUS SHAGOHOD ON THE INTERNETS with 37 notes
IT IS OKAY. I AM KNOWING CAR IS DIFFERENT. I AM NOT SURE HOW TO MAKE MONEY, BUT SOME KIDS ONCE SAID I SHOULD SQUISH THINGS FOR MOVIES, SO MAYBE I WILL TRY TO ENTER SOVIET CINEMA, JUST TO PAY FOR FIXES.
OKAY. WELL, LIKE I SAY. IF SEEING, OR IF SEEING BLOND VERSION OR OLD VERSION WITH MUSTACHE, OR HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND, PLEASE BE TELLING ME SO I SQUISH. IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, STUNTMAN. IS ALL I AM LIVE FOR RIGHT NOW.
…
YOU REMIND ME OF PAPA VOLGIN. HE LIKED TO DO DANGEROUS THINGS. HE ALSO LIKED TO SHOCK PEOPLE AND PUNCH THEM AND LAUGH. HE WAS A GOOD PAPA FOR A TANK.There are different ‘versions’? Relations, or something? Not promising anything, but I don’t see why I couldn’t look out for them. I usually have a camera around, too. If I see anything weird, I can show you!
I’ve got nothing else to do…*blink* Oookay. You sound like you miss him.
THEY ARE CHILDREN. BUT ADULT SO OKAY TO SQUISH.
PAPA WAS AWESOME, OKAY? PAPA GOT KILLED BECAUSE HE TRIED TO REPLACE SHITTY HEAD OF USSR WITH COOL ONE. *sigh* PAPA JUST LOVED SOVIET UNION.
DO YOU HAVE FAMILY? GIRLFRIEND? BOYFRIEND? CAR?
Eh, okay then.
You talk about the Soviet Union a lot. I take it you were made during the Cold War or something? Are you going to try and, I don’t know, nuke America or something like that? That’s ridiculous. Who would launch a nuke from a tank? You haven’t got a bunch of friends you’re not telling me about? Because I’ve got to clear the air on this one - I’m American and I love it here. My morals may be a little… loose, but I’m not prepared to help anybody take over a whole country, least of all this one.
Anyway, I don’t know if you even want to be honest with me, but I’m going to be totally honest with you. No, I don’t have a family, or girlfriend, or boyfriend - I don’t even have a car right now. I say very little about most of those things. I had my face smashed in to the point where I was lucky not to be paralysed or dead. But, Shagoya, this is the big one: I do whatever I do now because I am bored out of my mind. I find very little to be passionate about any more. I wake up in the morning and I just don’t care. I try to take things easy, soak up the atmosphere in some bar or other and people-watch, until they start to sicken me instead of entertain me. I don’t care about anything - except seeking the ultimate thrill. But I can’t even do that, because it usually gets me into trouble. I don’t like trouble.
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